I danced with a group of 200 people in the 2026 San Francisco Pride Parade! 

It came at a particularly difficult moment for me.  I turned 70, and solidified my presence in the here and now, assiduously attending my modern dance classes as well as developing a personal choreography for the East Bay Queer Open Mic.  I became more comfortable learning and assimilating new choreographies (which change every month).  When Pride month came, I had been going through a roller coaster of emotions and had been forced to stop all news sources, especially those telling me about the repression by the U.S. government and making us the target of hostile and uninformed opinions.  I was questioning whether I would even show up at all.  I was beaten.

When I learned about Rhythm and Motion’s Dance with Pride program, I hesitated.  Was it a fitness program like Zumba classes, in which case it might be hard on my joints?  Was it going to be posing new difficulties that I have when I’m trying a new class and finding myself alone and challenged too much?  There were several rehearsal classes, and I figured I could just try and not feel obligated to continue.

What a beautiful studio it was at ODC Dance Commons!  Surprised there were no barres to anchor myself and do a few stretches, I ventured in my dance socks among a mix of people mostly wearing running shoes.  I don’t know how I wasn’t intimidated at the drinking-from-a-firehose effect of learning three songs when some people seem to “get it” rather quickly.  But Dudley, the director of the program who conceived the entire thing, is also a great teacher in recognizing the amount of material we just went through makes it seem insurmountable.  There would be practice videos (in the same way my teacher does every month).

In the practice videos, Dudley gave us a story of why he chose each of the songs, followed by his dancing of the song, and then the details of the phrases.  I realized that I had never listened to Pink Pony Club and that it had nothing to do with pink ponies.  The other songs, The Greatest, and Compromise, were unknown to me and hard to assimilate because they sounded like fighting songs (I often say I ride the sound waves in dancing).

My second time in the dance studio, I was there early enough to enjoy improvising on whatever was playing, to feel the floor.  I also made a note to myself to introduce myself to many people as a way to make me feel less of a stranger (it is a large group, and the studio is more crowded than what I’m used to, so I better start making friends before I hit them with my long arms).  At the water break, Dudley tells us to do exactly that, and I now feel part of the group.

I surprise myself that meanwhile I am learning my regular class’s choreography without interference.  I feel like I’m making progress on that front.  Dance with Pride is a bit faster than what I’m used to, and also has more phrases to put together.  My mind mixes which moves go in which song, and I still need visual reminder at the third class.  But then something fantastic happens as I’m walking home in my fuchsia tights and mini-skirt, someone gives me the look identical to what my mother would have done had she been alive.  I made a note to “process what just happened” and once home I realized that the song The Greatest was exactly about that.  I resolved to wear the pink tutu I made at the parade…

After the first half of the rehearsals, they become about moving forward as we will be in a parade, and I know from volunteering in years past that they want the parade to keep moving (it’s very long).  That is quite challenging.  I felt like three years ago when I needed my dance teacher to help me figure out a simple step sequence.  I was even more intimidated because there were some who were shouting “woo hoo” while we in the back couldn’t even see what they were doing.  But it was going to be OK.  And I was so glad I went to most rehearsals including the ones outside at Yerba Buena Gardens, because they were both a test of the weather and the pavement.  I bought the most cushioned shoes from my supplier of running shoes!  I also didn’t put my orthotics in them, because whatever (I was right, whatever worked).

The morning of the final rehearsal, while still in bed, I reviewed some of the moves in my mind, and had doubts.  So at breakfast I reviewed all three videos, and figured I had remembered everything!  I was getting close to what I call assimilation of the choreography, when it is in my body and I don’t have to think about it.  I knew, in a funny way, that sometimes or most of the time, I raise the wrong side arm, but it’s OK.  I’m enamored with the sequence of “The Greatest” in which we lift our choice of an arm randomly three times and then shimmer down.  And even more in every song.  I have assimilated them.

The morning of the parade, I still review in my mind while in bed…  But I play quiet music for breakfast.  I run to the Bart station and meet a big trimmed poodle (an unusual sight here) which I find amusingly matching my pink tutu…  Although the owner seems nonplussed, more like a dog trainer who is doing this for a wealthy person…

The atmosphere is festive on Spear Street where I can see the contingents preceding us.  I like that side of the parade, the staging, the rehearsal in our case which turns out to be about how we form three groups that will rotate like a paceline so that everyone will have a new perspective throughout.

Two hours go quickly when we start, and maybe because we’re the third block away from Market street, we literally run to catch up.  The music has already started when we turn the corner where the crowd cheers us on!  We scramble to our positions and start dancing, inserting ourselves into the song.  The asphalt and the grates and the rails are so different from the smooth floor of a dance studio!

One-liners while in the parade:

– as we run to Market street, I spread my wings as if entering the stage, what a feeling!

– the music has started, but I know it well enough to just step in

– LOL the asphalt… I’m so used to gliding my feet on the floor!

– my neighbor hi-5’s after the first song!

– LOL the rails… But look! 30 of us in a straight line!  So cool!

– Woah!  We’re on TV!  Start “The Greatest” and it feels like everyone is doing their greatest The Greatest!

– Pink Pony Club again?  We’ve cycled through the playlist already!

– Listen!  The public is singing along!!! I’m singing along!

– Augh! there’s a boom box blasting over our song!  Maggie, our group leader. is tall enough that I’m following visually!  I know where we are!

– I didn’t think I’d see the public on each side!  I thought it would be a blur!  But they’re there watching, singing along, taking video of us!

– The grandstand!  Already? We’re doing “Compromise” and I sort of hear the P.A. talking about us!  Incredible!

– What? the truck is turning left!  We’ve done it!

– I turn to the Moms Who Hug behind us and ask for a hug!  I tell them about not having a supporting mom and could they give me a hug?  This mom is proud of me!  She’s been watching me dance all the way!

I am so happy that I could join this group and give the parade my best form of expression.  I find on youtube the exact time we appear on the TV coverage, and send it to everyone I know, even to my biological family for whom it barely means anything.  It’s another affirmation of myself that breaks the closet door they like to think can remain closed most of the time.

Video of our contingent can be found here (and Free Mom Hugs follows!):

Our three songs: